The Cage: a play
Characters: | Actor, as Man in the Cage Audience members: 1, as the nagging, critical wife 2, as the pompous, ceremonial clergyman 3, as the answerless, armchair philosopher 4, as the little child Audience members 1-4 are seated in a row on stage. Enter the Actor. Actor: (to Aud. 1-4) Hi there! Aud. 1: Hi yourself! Actor: We’re all here for the same play. I’m the Actor… Aud. 2: Bless you! Actor: And you’re the audience. Aud. 3: How about that! Actor: The play’s entitled “The Cage.” It’s about this… Aud. 4: Don’t tell us! Aud. 3: Let us guess! Aud. 2: It’s about this…(faltering) Actor: (encouragingly) That’s right. It’s about this character who is trapped inside an imaginary cage. Aud. 1: And do you play this character? Actor: Uh-huh. Aud. 2: They sure picked the right person for the part. Actor: Thank you! Aud. 2: Think nothing of it! Actor: Anyhow, these different people walk by and make fun of his imaginary captivity. Aud. 3: Wait a minute. Why are you telling us the plot? Actor: I’m just killing time waiting for the rest of the cast to show up. They were supposed to have been here by now. Aud. 2: Would you like us to help you out? Aud. 3: After all, we know the plot now anyhow. Aud. 1: Please let us help! Just until the regular cast gets here… Actor: Well, that would be nice of you. Are you sure you don’t mind? Aud. 3: Not at all. Aud. 4: You just tell us what to do. Actor: All right. (to Aud. 1) You’ll play my critical, nagging wife. Aud. 1: Is that a proposal? Why, we barely know each other! Actor: Remember: you refuse to accept the fact that I have difficulties dealing with life’s problems. Aud. 2: Ahem! Actor: (to Aud. 2) And you can be the pompous, ceremonial clergyman. Aud. 2: Lead me to my robes! Actor: Keep in mind that you’re too far up in the air to be able to deal with my needs. Aud. 2: I’ll pray to that! Actor: Let’s see. (indicating Aud. 3) Ah, yes, I need you to play the answerless, armchair philosopher. Aud. 3: And what am I like? Actor: You’re too busy asking questions to realize that you have no answers. Aud. 3: (rhetorically) I wonder who in history asked the very first question… Aud. 4: And what about me? Actor: Ah! You will play the little child. Aud. 4: (in disbelief) The little child? Actor: Yes. Aud. 4: You must be joking! I won’t do it! I’m a grown man. Actor: No? Aud. 4: No! Actor: Then I guess we’ll just have to leave that part out. (Aud. 4 exits to another part of the stage. He turns to speak.) Aud. 4: I’ll stay and listen, though. Actor: As you wish. Aud. 4: (sitting down) But I don’t expect to hear much. Aud. 3: Where are our scripts? Actor: There are none. I’m afraid you’ll just have to make up your own lines as you go along. Aud. 1: (imitating a stoned hippy) Groovy! Aud. 2: Where are my robes? Actor: We don’t have any. You’ll just have to pretend you’re wearing them. Aud. 3: (rhetorically) Where did the significance of robes originate? Aud. 4: (insistently) Aren’t you ever going to begin? I came here to see a play. Actor: All right, Cast, it is time to begin. Aud. 1: Yes, Dear. Actor: No, no! I said a “critical, nagging wife”! Aud. 1: Oh. (pausing) I say there, aren’t you ever going to get down to business? Actor: A bit awkward, but better. Aud. 2: Not even a clerical collar? (Actor shakes his head) Aud. 3: (rhetorically) What relationship is there between clothing and godliness? Aud. 2: (aside to Aud. 1) Umph! He’s not much of a director, is he? Aud. 1: He’s not much of a husband, either. Actor: There! That’s the spirit! You’ll make the perfect complaining, nagging wife! Aud. 1: Well, thank you. (pausing) But don’t forget: you watch the kids tonight while I go play poker with the boys! Aud. 4: What a ham! Aud. 3: (rhetorically) Is there a direct relationship between criticism and truth? Actor: (near exasperation) Okay, Cast, let’s begin! Aud. 3: Would it hurt the aesthetic appeal and importance of this play if I were to loosen my neck tie? Actor: (trying to remain calm) Suit yourself. Aud. 1: Now wait a minute. If you want my opinion… Aud. 4: (pointing from Aud. 1 to Actor) Ha! Ha! How can you tell which one is the director? Aud. 1: (to Actor after giving Aud. 4 a dirty look) He ought to take his tie off completely. (to Aud. 4 as she removes his tie) There. Now you look disorganized enough to be an answerless, armchair philosopher. Aud. 3: (mumbling) Thanks, Dear. Actor: Now may we proceed? Aud. 1: Certainly. You’re the boss. Aud. 2: Do I understand correctly that this is to be a religious play? Actor: (completely exasperated) Heavens, yes! Aud. 2: Well, then, shouldn’t we pray before we start? Actor: (desperately) Yes, yes! Would you do the honors? Aud. 2: Certainly. Let us bow our heads reverently. God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food. Amen. Aud. 1 & 3: Amen! Aud. 2: Okay, my children, God bless us as we proceed. Aud. 4: (clapping his hands) Two hams! What a comedy! Actor: (somewhat calm now) Now, as the play opens, I’m supposed to be standing here discussing my problems with the audience. Aud. 1: That husband of mine! If he isn’t always complaining, and to total strangers at that! Aud. 3: (sympathetically) You do have problems, don’t you? Aud. 2: Say, I think I have a prayer to cover that. Actor: Well, thanks, but I… Aud. 3: What you really need is to get away from here for a while and do some serious thinking. Aud. 4: (heckling) With whom? Ha! Ha! Actor: But it’s not in the play. Aud. 3: That doesn’t matter. Come on. Just for a few minutes. Actor: Well, they are making me a bit nervous. (Actor and Aud. 3 exit to the other side of the stage. Aud. 1 & 2 carry on quite an animated silent conversation.) Aud. 3: See. Now isn’t this better? You can just stretch out in the sun… Actor: But the sun just went behind a cloud. Aud. 3: (sighing) Ah, well. Tell me: is your life meaningless? Actor: Yes, that does seem to be part of the problem. Aud. 3: And does the thought of death and the hereafter concern you? Actor: Have you seen this play before? Aud. 3: Do you worry about the constant struggle between good and evil in this world? Actor: Stop! I feel the cage closing in on me! Aud. 3: Really? Actor: Yes, really. I’m beginning to feel quite depressed. Aud. 3: Is that in the play? Actor: Yes, it is. Aud. 3: So what’s the problem? Actor: You make it seem so real. Aud. 3: Look. Do you want my help? We can try logic and reason, mind expansion, eastern meditation, New Age… Actor: Do any of these things really work? Aud. 4: (heckling) Can’t you see how stable and secure he is? Aud. 3: No, not a bit. To tell you the truth, I’m starting to see those cage bars myself. (Enter Aud. 1 from across the stage.) Aud. 1: Well, here you are! Some husband you are to leave your wife just standing there like some fool in front of the clergyman! Aud. 3: (rhetorically) Why did sin originate with the female of the species? Actor: Please. Can’t you see how upset I’ve been? Aud. 1: How upset? Is that any excuse for walking out on your sweet, loving wife? (Enter Aud. 2 from across the stage.) Aud. 2: My, my! Do I hear a request for marriage counseling? I’m sorry, but I’ve time now only for a prayer. Aud. 1: (too sweetly) Mind your own business, Father. Aud. 2: (meekly) Yes, Dear. (mumbling) Now I lay me down to sleep… Aud. 3: (to Aud. 2) Why do you keep mumbling foolish prayers? Aud. 1: (to Aud. 3) And why do you keep asking so many answerless questions? Actor: (to Aud. 1) And why do you keep nagging and criticizing so much? Aud. 2: (to Aud. 3) Well, there’s a kind of peace in rote repetition. Aud. 3: (to Aud. 1) And a kind of peace in repeating questions which cannot be answered. Aud. 1: (defensively) Me nag and criticize? Why does everyone keep picking on me? Oh! The walls are closing in on me. Aud. 4: (approaching Actor and Aud. 1-3) Stop it! You four act as if you were hopelessly trapped in this cage of yours! Actor: (with contempt) Huh! You’re not even in the play. Aud. 4: I wasn’t, true. But if we leave out the little child’s part, the play must go unfinished, and your problem will still be unsolved. (Actor and Aud. 1-3 turn away) (to Aud. 3) You’ve been too busy asking questions to listen for answers. Aud. 3: (turning halfway towards Aud. 4) Have I? Aud. 4: (to Aud. 2) And you’ve been too busy going through the motions of religion to discover the realities of it. Aud. 2: (turning halfway and crossing himself awkwardly) Thank God I’m not a sinner like him. Aud. 4: (to Aud. 1) You’re miserable, and yet you keep projecting your misery on others. Aud. 1: (turn to face Aud. 4 squarely and points to Actor) My husband does that, but never me. Aud. 4: (to Actor) And you’ve become all the more entrapped by trying to get other captives to free you. Actor: (pauses and turns slowly) So? What’s your answer? Aud. 1: What does he know? What does a little child know? Aud. 2: How can a little child know the answer? Aud. 3: How can a little child understand the questions? Aud. 4: It says, “A little child shall lead them.” Actor: Does it really say that? Aud. 4: Yes, and it also says, “The Truth shall make you free.” Actor: We do want so much to be free. Aud. 1-3: We want to be free. Aud. 4: Then listen to the one and only Truth: God has already opened the door to your cage. All you have to do is to believe he has. Then you’ll become free. Actor: But that’s too simple. Aud. 1-3: Way too simple. Actor: There must be another solution. Aud. 1-3: Yes, some other solution. Aud. 4: There is only one. You can accept it or not… (Aud. 1-3 and Actor turn to face the real audience) Actor: Hi there! Aud. 1: We’re all here for the same play. We’re the actors… Aud. 2: And you’re the audience. Aud. 3: The play’s entitled “The Cage.” Actor: It’s about these characters who are trapped inside an imaginary cage. (Actor and Aud. 1-3 freeze in position) Aud. 4: (sadly) They sure picked the right people for the part. CURTAIN
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